Closet transgender looking for a bestie and a keyholder and drin

Okay so now I am 23.Physically I am male I look masculine but I feel like I m in the wrong body. I had an abusive childhood and never really got to explore me. I really do wanna explore with women s clothes and maybe go to lgbt friendly bars I feel somewhat ashamed of being trans. I just kinda wanna a cis friend who I can be open with I m not asking to have sex or to anything like that (but now if your open to something we can talk about that when the moments right) I kinda want like.. more of like a sister connection if anything someone I can be open with who will teach me about girls clothing and how to behave feminely. I like guys now the keyholder part I just wanna give control and use of that up as a guy part of exploring see for me in bed being trans I can t really top it as a straight guy might say.. have sex with a girl I.e putting his penis inside a girl like that s not my go to for sex I don t like using it in bed I feel ashamed to have it and I m not here trying to sound dirty or focused on this I just want someone who can hold the keys to a chastity cage so my penis can t become erect like Jon judgementally And for real I want a friend I have nobody around me.i wanna start going out like every Friday night help me dress up and let s go out drinking. I m not rich but if you wanna smoke and have fun we can go out. I m not looking for sex I feel like a girl inside I m just looking for someone who s bored to go out with. idc if you have sexual partners or friends like that it s none of my buisness

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