I slept better as last week (Naples)

I slept better as last week

the reason being is easy I DO concentrate on you. I do not feel as if anyone gets bothered it is my mind and therefor my world. Je fais le vide comme on dit chez nous or I empty my head if you will then I look at your picture and think of nothing else. I m not wanted there...I cooked so the pans disappeared I showered so the curtain soap yes even the tp vanished I can t help it I tried everything...When I was younger my father and I would make our phone calls and I was being bullied at school of course back then I didn t know it. They found a weakness and they based their jealousy on what they thought I had that they didn t the ability to cross the ocean I didn t want to but they caught me and so I went...I used to cry on the phone my father would always say be diplomatic I didn t know what it meant. The principal there too did not like me I was always speaking my mind even since I could talk. Being Bullied was not a concern back then and I did not even realize that I had been a victim of that too until I read about it in a book. A book for teenagers you know me always trying to understand that critical age when we turn into adults and when we assert ourselves a normal part of life and when it does not take place with curse words and mistakes then that is when the problems usually occur later on in life. So here I am again trying to be diplomatic . Ignoring the insults. I think if we all had our own lives or hobbies life would be so much easier on the partners. Something that we can devote time to that makes us happy. I would love to make a quilt but that would require so much time quiet tranquility I am thinking some place close to the water trees the smell of firewood burning as it was tonight. I really do not need much. I just needed a good night sleep and then I start to feel better. I would like to give you something simple as in fill in the blanks type thing. I just need the courage to approach you again. I admit I have been around artist and fools but I m not used to intelligent superb men whom do not lie and are brave and fearless. On that day I was told I would not be alone to address you but as you saw I was I figured I walked all the way there might as well . Of course what came out of my mouth in that moment when you finally turned to face me was not exactly what I wanted to say but what you made me feel like was confession time something I was holding inside for a long time and I guess I figured if i only have 2 minutes might as well make the most of it. Unlike you I am not good under pressure. The time was ticking but I froze. What I wanted to tell you was what it is like out there. What we all go through. Being diplomatic is not something that works....i lost it once. It took 3 or 4 teachers to stop me. The vase was full and the constant bullying from the second I got in the car by my mother to the moment I got out from bystanders then students.... I wasn t doing anything. I was in school to learn and what I learned was this after that no one ever bothered me again. the staff was not helping my family did not care and laughed at me. There must be counselors in school there must be less peer pressure there must be no more competition. There must be equal opportunity for all and no more standard test which even I fail. More teachers better pay less students in classes and a class that moves from one subject to another together to form friendship. Friendship is something that lasts forever and more valuable than a sticker star or trophy mine was not wanted by me I hated the podium and I hated being singled out from other kids. We need jobs do not replace people with computers. Teachers are not disposable and counselors someone neutral to speak to about peer pressure about problems stuff that our parents do not want to hear.... Anyhow let me know if I may speak to you whenever is good for you it has been a long time since I have had an intelligent conversation -)