A Safe Place (Olathe, KS)

A Safe Place

About six years ago the only father I ever knew passed away. From 2011 on I conducted a research project of people who are more in tune to their feelings and emotions. My findings led me to believe that the dreams I had growing up were true. I dreamt that my father had stolen me that I wasn t actually adopted but that one day I would be reunited with my family. I don t know if it is true I just thought I d put it out there. I had an older sister who was adopted but she ran away when I was seven. Aside from her I had two older siblings that were actually children of my parents. We look similar we could be actually related but of course there are physical differences. My hairline isn t receding like theirs did in their late twenties I have dimples no freckles and I was the only one that needed braces. There aren t any pictures of me as a little baby the earliest pictures were about a year old. I worked really hard on my research project and in my heart I felt my family would help me when they realize that it would promote new legislation to stop violence and end discrimination for people of all ancestries. They won t help me in fact they are disappointed in my work and my mother is ashamed of me. She actually called the police to my home during one of my experiments which was a fake bakery and I later found out that she was closely working with the local police on trying to get me charged when had done nothing illegal. Because I studied human emotions and cultural and genetic influences on how we perceive information and interact socially. I began to wonder about my dreams again. I grew up Christian and I thought about the story of Solomon who presided over a case of two babies one who had died in their sleep and the other who lived. The mother of the dead child had switched the body with the live one and the two women disputed the truth before Solomon. Solomon stated that he would cut the living baby in half in order to stop their bickering one mother agreed and the other begged Solomon not to kill the child she would rather him live with the other mother than die. Solomon used this fact to determine that the mother that would give her child up in order for him to live was the mother. Even I wondered if the story had influenced my thinking but here are the facts. My mother while pregnant with me was babysitting a little girl who kicked her in the belly. At the hospital no one was allowed to see me even my grandmother who had driven an hour to visit. As a little girl I asked my mother if that baby was alive not understanding what it would implicate. I started a crowdfunding campaign today because in a few days I won t have anywhere to live. Because I haven t found an investor in my organization which I feel is because of my lack of credit and damaged reputation I don t have the money to stay. In my heart I keep thinking about the things my mother did to me she called the police on me several times as a teen even falsely reporting that I had stolen my car. She only let me get an afterschool job so that I could pay my school tuition. The stories she told about me while I was away on research were really defaming. In a dream I had at twenty-two I saw my mother have a stillborn baby then from a bed in a room I saw my father s hands or hands like my father s take a baby who in the dream was me. For some time the dream has been bothering me. I ve been thinking of my father lately and I keep thinking he is still alive and in prison actually or in place like a prison. My research and bill is set up to help people who are incarcerated for stuff that are just political mishaps and misunderstandings of culture I know in my heart I was driven to this work for someone that really loves me. So here it goes for anyone who read this far do you know anyone who lost a baby I m thirty-one or thirty-two I guess. I may be mixed most people say I have an Italian nose. People think I m pretty smart I worked out a formula for thermal electric sharing. I write a few blogs and have authored five eBooks. I ve been to New York it was the only place I felt this pull on my heart and when I ever think of going home I think it s there.