where is god

I have been alone for over a year.trying to raise a little one year old boy.it s been hard on me.i don t get out much or know any women.my wife died very young at 38yrs.she was very pretty and sexy.i really wonder if she made it to heaven.and is she watching out for us.and how far is heaven from here.is there really a god.and why did he do this to me.we were so happy and in love.maybe she dosent want anyone else to have me and keep s me in limbo so i will take care of this little boy on my own.i really don t know where my life is going to go alone. and i am so bitter about what happen to my life.if there is love out there for me i hope it come s soon.they say god does thing s for a reason and only the good die young.i guess i will live forever with this boy alone.i am sorry god i am a old man that like s young women and if that is a sin i am sure you will make me pay for it when i get there.amen

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